Passing Thoughts

So for a few weeks I’ve been writing passing thoughts. They’re not quite poems and they’re not chit-chats. This post will be just a mix of random xD I honestly wanna post just to talk to y’all

***

Thought 1:

I don’t know the difference between being numb and being fine
I wonder if I felt fine all along and didn’t recognize
That living is being pained
And happiness is but an illusion
Have I fallen into the paradox of victimising myself?
Perhaps I am a testing prototype
A better me is yet to come
Tear my chest open
Check that what’s inside is not mechanical
So that I can know when I’m feeling apathy
I’m merely feeling the grinding of metal on metal
And the constant rotation of rusting gears
***

Thought 2:

And then the sky tattered like our goodbye letters and from the cracks it bled the sunset, brighter than ever before
Our dying embers are fuel to the truth.
***

Thought 3:

I thought this room was well lit and I could depend on more than one source of light to be able to see. Turns out they’re all reflections of me, and once I’m gone, they’re too. I wish I realised that before I snuffed myself out.
***

Thought 4 (I absolutely hate this one):

My mind is the ocean
Deep
Undiscovered
Mystifying
My savior is my lighthouse
As small as my fist
But I’ll take whatever I can get
With each passing second,
The water drags me incessantly
Drowning me
I can’t see the light anymore
So, slowly, I gather the achievements I call my own-when they’re in reality a gift for
People-and mold them into a mirror
I claw my way at times,
And others I must relax and get swept away-do not question my silence
And as I hear the crash of the waves,
Even while knowing it is the sound of destruction,
I feel relief
As I can finally open my eyes
To the world,
To the lighthouse,
To my small fist,
To my heart
Alas, freedom seems to be a sin
And I’m back at it, to the very bottom
With water within,
My lungs aren’t working
But no! I am change
I grew gills 
And with each painful breath, I discover what scientists have failed to mention 

Fish drown too.

***

Thought 5:

I cannot help but dwell on memories 

Drown in melancholia
And choke on mishaps

***

Thought 6:

Age is a thief of innocence
You mature more with every dilemma you go through
But I wonder which one will be troublesome enough to break me
And shatter me
Completely
Preventing me for growing
And making me start from scratch
Yet again
But with a weight
That’s too much
For this reborn body

***

It feels good to post my drafts, especially these ones which are basically a collection of notes that I didn’t like. Some of these were written months ago. ANYWAYS enough about that. Your boi is reading scientific info, studying, reading ‘Girl In Pieces’ and just chilling. What about y’all what chu doing? :3

31 thoughts on “Passing Thoughts

  1. Damnn!! These are Beautiful. The second one😍😍😍😍
    And uffff the last two too
    2 too two too to too. Whatever
    You’re a magician 😩🌺
    Posting drafts is something I think everyone should do, I don’t know why but it feels good. I had posted once and it felt a lil good 🌻🌻♥️♥️♥️📯

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  2. I dunno how. But your writing makes me feel like a noob. It’s so very good! I’m ✨beautifully tired✨ *rolls eyes* I JUST WANNA I DON’T KNOW! How about youuuuu????????????? Nour, I haven’t talked to you for so long, do you want to be murdered? 🔪

    Like

    1. GURL NUUUUUU you’re amazing immaculate *insert that audio full of compliments*. I’m bare tired that’s all 😂 That made me burst out laughing 😂😂 *mood*. Boi some days the answer would be a loud YES. it’s been so long 😭😭😭 I’m like isolating myself.

      GURL these past two days I unmuted myself accidently twice and EVERYONE HEARD MY CONVO WITH MY SIBLINGS. One was about how my brother takes his Nescafe and the other one about how I’m wearing my brother’s pants. It was SO embarrassing. I wanted to die 😭😭😭 So YES I WANT TO BE MURDERED.

      Anyways how are chu 😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. *gets knife* *looks at you* nah, you’re too pretty to die. Omg, GURL same! My camera was on and then my sister barged in and she’s like: HEY HEY HEY( Insert hilariously embarrassing name we made for each other) LOOK WHO’S IN MY CLASS OMG OMG OMG Me: im so sorry guys. My teacher starts laughing and all the peeps are like 0_o 😭😭😭 HEHEHEHEHE!! YOU’RE SO AMAZING TOO! MY AUTOCORRECT SAYS YOU’RE A SNACK. 😭😭😭 Ugh like i wanna see new people except from my family. Like human contact is needed ASAP. 😭 Awww!! You’re like so awesome i can describe it. Ohohohohoho I don’t know what don’t – wait what? No. I don’t know what to do anymore but anyway, today i almost choked on the tiny piece of chocolate cake I was eating and the teacher called my name and in like LET ME SWALLOW JESUS. And he called again. I’m like I’M TRYING TO EAT GULP AND FAST AS GULP POSSIBLE! After 15 seconds. Me: yes? 😭😭😭. I’m…. All THAT. You you you??

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        1. Gurl the pretty ones are always kidnapped so nu uh 😂 That’s so embarrassing ngl. God 😂 I’m totes a snack okay lets just put it out there and admit it BUT THANK YOU MS.BROWNIE’S AUTOCORRECT <33
          Oh no I see people often. I'd love if it was actual school but we're not quarantined or anything it's just school.

          Oof girl I those moments make me feel so anxious.

          So this week I experienced sumn new. My (Male) teacher called me to do sumn related to school BUT I DONT LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH PEOPLE MY ANXIETY CANNOT and I like almost passed out bc I'm so bad at communicating with people normally and EVERYONE THAT KNEW WAS PITYING ME AND LAUGHING THOSE JERKS and it was so nerve wrecking 😭😭

          Other than those moments I think I'm mostly fine. Oh yh I asked my teacher if he has birds and he said "oh yeah but yesterday one of em died" like he was talking bout the weather. I didnt know what to say so I just said "awwww poor guy." Basically let me unexist rn

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Oh yEaH oNe oF Em dIeD YeStErDaY. klfhksjdfkljcsklngaj;kldkljfka no. 😂😂 Oh em gee, then we’ll put on miranda lipstick hilarious makeup and badabim badbum BAAM. Yeah, me and my friends go to this park to catch up on stuff. OMGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! THOSE JERKS. UGH. YEAH WELL IF THEY WERE IN YOUR PLACE, THEY’D BE CURSING AT THEMSELVES. I’d just SPIT IN THEIR FA-I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Virus people. Speaking of that, I was going down the elevator the other day and I don’t give a sheet about pressing the buttons with my elbows so I procceed to do it with my fingers and this dude’s like ‘STOP. NO.’ I’m like: *blink* uh. okay. Him: Mygirlfriendgotcoronalikethissoyouneedtokeepverysafedoitwithyourelbow. I’m like: Uh, yeah, thanks, great. and he goes AHA. That scared the bijeebees outta me. Yeahhh, that’s great!

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            1. Gurl NU UH I hate lipstick 😂😂 GURL SPIT IN IT! We all tested and we’re negative 😂 okay that’s kinda creepy ngl. Like I get the pure intention but a random guy in an elevator? Call me paranoid but yeah no 😂 and I’m sure the elevator was the ONLY place his gf could’ve gotten corona.And if she got it…there’s a chance that he was with her! And he has it too! Careful 😂

              Liked by 1 person

              1. IT IS CREEPY, I was literally like: Uh…dude? I mean, like thanks but no thanks you get what I mean? I don’t like lipstick as well, I like a bit of lip gloss and lip balmsssss!!! Yeah, I was thinking the same. Thanks, you stay gud too but corona has done what it’s done and all that’s left for it is to shoo.

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    1. Oof. The purpose question. Honestly when that thought comes up I just remind myself that if I wasn’t here yesterday I wouldn’t have made X laugh. So maybe I’ll do something tomorrow that makes Y’s day. A purpose doesn’t have to be all grand and stuff. Just the little things

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey nour , it’s been long again but I understand your priority that is studying, so is mine !! Each time you publish s post it’s completely outstanding… keep writing!! I read all the wonderful thoughts 💖

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      1. Nour even I have been studying but manage to make some posts like once in a month !! I have my 9 th class next year which literally haunts me !! Which class are you in ?!??

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  4. If you published these thoughts and writings and poems they’d top the charts girl, I’m not kidding
    They’re raw and relatable and deep and while reading them I just keep going “YES 👏🏼”
    Seriously consider turning them into an e-book at the very least 😂💛
    I can’t even pick a favorite line oof they all so good!
    Hmm about me – I just bought a new jacket that I love. I’m gonna make some new crafts and DIYs. I bought some new bracelets that I’m really excited about, AND I got my nails done today! My new nail wraps came in the mail yesterday and they’re absolutely beautiful :’D

    Like

    1. SERIOUSLY? I’m *melting*
      I really don’t know anymore 😂
      I’m like in love with jackets. Idek why. GURL you gotta show or send pic pr anything I wanna see!!
      I barely have nails I’m so jelly 😂
      Congratssss
      I bought an oversized grey hoodie the other day and I’m in love <33

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah everyone talkin’ about sweaters in the fall, but it never gets cold enough in Georgia so I’m all about them hoodies and jackets! 😀
        Oversize hoodies are the BEST kinda hoodies. They’re like a huge, never-ending hug. It’s different when clothes fit you, definitely not like a hug lol

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              1. Yes I am passively aggressive toward restrictive clothing. There are certain materials (such as… corduroy!) that I can’t handle touching my skin. I’m a cotton shirts and jeans kinda girl. XD

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  5. I loved all your random thoughts~ and related most to the 2nd one esp
    ” My savior is my lighthouse
    As small as my fist
    But I’ll take whatever I can get
    With each passing second” it feels like i’m not alone~ 😅 Missed reading your posts and interacting with you dear~ 💖 doing fine but waiting for this hot weather to finally collect it’s belongings and leave lol~ 🙈

    Like

    1. Aww *hugs*. It’s weird how people like my most disliked (by me) posts. I miss writing, especially writing stories *sigh*. Oml IKR I need winter and cold and hoodies and wind *I love winter so much*

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh i love winter so much too! I feel like there are lots of stuff that comfort me! The rain the clouds the wind~ i don’t know but i just feel like that 🤣 well it’s not weird or it would appear to you but for us it’s because we relate~ and what is there better than finding someone who relates to your darkest stuff! I ve been curious for yrs and that mystery has been solved once i joined both WordPress and Quora 🙈

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Ah no not at all! Don’t think like that~ I meant to tell you once it’s time 🙈 I love reading on Quora esp since i’m introvert ans i dnt have many ppl in my life so there is no way to learn abt the world -or at least i think so-other than communities like Quora 🙈

            Liked by 1 person

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